the subject or you wouldn’t be reading this book. You may have grounds for divorce under your state’s laws. You may well be fed up with the person you are married to. You may even be in love with someone else. Those are all good reasons for getting a divorce.

But you can’t make a realistic decision without some idea of the consequences, both positive and negative. All those items we have mentioned are reasons for getting a divorce. Before you make up your mind, you had better look at some of the things that weigh against getting a divorce. In many ways these cons are more important than the pros. In fact most of this book is devoted to minimizing the negative factors.

7. In addition to lawyer fees and court costs, what other expenses are incurred in a divorce? pg. 11

Depending on your personal and business situation you can end up paying several times that amount in indirect costs. As a simple example of these costs, consider what can happen with taxes. If you have made arrangements to shield income from taxes through the application of the various tax laws you may find that a divorce leaves you with a tax bill that wipes out your tax savings and costs you additional money in the bargain. If you have made arrangements that are more creative than the tax laws allow they are very likely to come out. Since the Internal Revenue routinely monitors divorce proceedings this can be extremely expensive.

You will also probably find that your personal and business credit rating is impaired by the divorce. You may find it hard to borrow the money you need and you may even find your credit cards cancelled or reduced.

8. Why do most people come out of a divorce with 40% or less of everything owned? pg. 12

Remember there is only so much property and it has to be split between the two of you, with rake offs for the lawyers and Uncle Sam. It is what game theorists call a zero- sum game and since at the very least the lawyers and the IRS will get theirs, you can’t get everything. In almost all the cases where one spouse got “everything” you’ll find that a very large chunk of the estate went for taxes and legal and professional fees. The other spouse may not have gotten anything, but the “winner” would have been better off to split it down the middle with the loser.

Most of the time the person who goes for everything ends up provoking an enormous court fight and still ends up with 40% or less of the estate.

9. Are you prepared to give up living in the style you’ve become accustomed to? pg. 13

This is the bottom line in the economics of divorce. You are going to come out of it with less than you had going in and you are likely to find yourself running frantically to stay in one place. It is not un­common to purchase your freedom at the expense of being locked into a job you hate or a lifetime barely above the poverty level.

Women especially are prone to underestimate the financial burden they put themselves under when they divorce. Since the law in almost all states guarantees them support by their ex-husbands and since that support is based on the style of living to which they have been accustomed, many of them feel it will be pretty much business as usual after the divorce. In point of fact if they are very lucky they will get one-half of their ex-husband’s income – - if they can collect it. If the husband is making $13,000 a year they may get $6,000 a year to try to live on. If they have a job or are capable of working, the judge will take this into consideration and lower the payments accordingly.

10. Why do civilized people turn into screaming, scheming, hate-filled monsters? pg. 14

In one sense a divorce is simply the separation of a legally recog­nized partnership. But the law places special burdens on the divorcing parties that make it extremely difficult for the partners to arrive at an amicable settlement. Most divorcing couples start out with the idea that they are going to be “adult” about the whole business. For many of them the resolution breaks down when they come face to face with the sort of things that are prac­tically required to protect themselves in a divorce.

11. What are the costs and benefits of a divorce? pg. 15

This very neatly sums up the situation you face in considering a divorce. You have to weigh the costs against the benefits and then decide how you want to go.

It is a sad but true fact that a lot of people who honestly weigh the costs and benefits come to the conclusion that they don’t want a divorce no matter how badly they want out of the marriage. For one reason or another they just find it too costly.

12. Do you know how to get the divorce YOU want? pg. 16

Exactly what you want is going to depend on you, of course. You are going to have to make some decisions as to what con­stitutes the best arrangements of circumstances for you. However there are some “structural” things you are going to want from your divorce and those are pretty much constant, whoever gets custody of the family cat.

Get a copy of Divorce Dirty Tricks

http://www.bobmorrisononline.com/books/divorcedirtytricks.html

Related posts

• Divorce Advice: 100 Questions you need to ask yourself (0)