Divorce Advice: 100 Questions you need to ask yourself
There are the first 5 questions of 100 questions you need to ask yourself if you are looking to get a divorce.
1. Is there a true amiable divorce? pg.2
Occasionally you’ll meet someone who says they got an “amiable divorce.” If you’re fortunate you may actually meet someone who did it, but that’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
A truly amiable divorce requires that both parties be A) independently wealthy and B) have the dispositions of saints.
What most people mean when they say they got an amiable divorce is that they’re still able to meet their ex at a cocktail party without having a screaming fight.
2. Are divorce laws aimed in one direction? pg. 3
Our laws and procedures are set up to make divorce just about as unpleasant as it possibly can be. Everything about it is calculated to force the couple to start throwing shit and keep throwing it hot and heavy for years to come. If you don’t hate your spouse when you start to get a divorce you can bet that you will by the time you finish.
The simple fact is that the law doesn’t really want to see you get divorced. The law in this country favors families. We penalize single people heavily at income tax time and dozens of other legal ways. The law says (not implies, says) it is a good thing to be married and a bad thing to get a divorce.
3. Who has the heaviest burden fall on them in a divorce and why? pg. 5
No one comes through a divorce unscathed, but the burden falls especially heavily on the men. That is because divorce law is the most blatantly sexist part of American law. And it is biased in favor of the woman.
In most states the husband has the legal duty to support his ex-wife and children, but the wife has no such duty toward the husband. A few states have changed the wording in their divorce laws so there is no mention of sex, but it is still almost unheard of for a woman to be ordered to support her husband.
4. Why does the image of your spouse change in a divorce? pg. 6
The basis of this attitude is that whatever emotional ties you may have had to your spouse are over and done with. You may have loved them or you may have hated them, but it’s over and while you’re getting the divorce you can afford neither attitude.
5. Why shouldn’t you stir up trouble for trouble’s sake during a divorce? pg.8
There is always the possibility that your spouse is willing to give you everything you want without a fight. Then you should take it and walk away. Stirring up trouble for trouble’s sake is a fool’s game in a divorce. If you don’t have to fight, for heaven’s sake don’t pick one! If you do have to fight remember that to win you have to fight rough and dirty and there are no holds barred.
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